Wednesday, September 3, 2014

What now?

I am officially on the dole. Yep, that's right, a card carrying member of the "stay home and get paid" citizens of Massachusetts. Sigh. After 4 months of waiting, I was finally approved for full disability. The money I will get monthly, starting in October is about $750 less than what my monthly take home pay was when working and that's without taxes being considered. That's a lot of Benjamins I'm going to have to learn to live without.

When working, people always dream of not having to work. What they wouldn't do to be home and doing "x".  But you know what? It's not like that. I'm home because I'm disabled. My mobility has become bad enough that I can't continue to work on a regular basis. The pain I am in is constant. It hurts to do most everyday chores. So being home is no picnic. And if it was a picnic, I wouldn't be able to carry everything because I'm walking with a walker now. It pains me to say it, but I wish I were back at work!

So what do I do now? Well, I've created a little "business" - an Etsy store (Twistd Designs by Mishe) to sell my Zentangle Inspired Art on greeting cards and other items (soon to be revealed!)and right now I am selling clothes directly from my own closet. These two things are keeping me busy, but they are, for the most part, keeping me busy on the couch! I need to get up and move, even if I don't want to because it hurts. Moving is the only way I can KEEP moving. Maybe I need to hire someone to take me for walks like they did to Arthur on King of Queens. Oh wait- no money to do that.

I've considered swimming, but in order to do that, I need to find somewhere with an indoor pool and I need to to be able to pay for it as well. Not to mention finding someone to go with me cuz I don't want to go alone. And I need help with the scooter. I know it sounds like I have a million excuses, but they're valid excuses! Sigh.

And as for the eating... I do maintain that I ate more at work than I do here at home. But I'm still not eating well. TOday I went to the Weight Watchers site - a big step for me because I hate WW. But I thought maybe I could try it out. It says Join Free, so why not.
But the free wasn't so free after all. The sign on bonus is free only if you buy a 3 month package which will automatically renew for you every three months. Goes to show - nothing is free in America. ANd then, I was fully reminded why I hate WW - I saw a comment on one of the discussion boards that said "High Five to all you losers out there." And that's where my problem is with WW.

I used to go to WW with my Dad when I was a kid. And ever since then, I've despised WW., even though I think it sounds like they have the best/healthiest weight loss program. 
The fact they they cheer for their "losers" but use pity to try to motivate the non-losers with phrases like "There's always next week" and "you'll just have to make better choices next week", "We know you can do it" etc. So now not only am I a non-loser and don't get a high five, The additional pressure is there that I had better be "better" for next weeks weigh in.

So I'm stuck here on the couch for now, not sure what to do next. Or how to do it.
Anyway, I apologize to everyone whose tax money I'll be using.

1 comment:

  1. Weight Watchers does not work for a food addict - just sayin ... they expect you to be able to eat a tiny muffin, or tiny candy bar and call it quits. Right, if I could eat just one, I would!