The ride to our resort isn’t a long one and we shortly find
ourselves driving into Port Orleans French Quarter. It’s now about 11pm and the
main entrance is lit up with little lights off the trellis’s (sp!?). You can
see inside to the lobby where there are several beautifully decorated Christmas
trees, garland and swag. It was all very pretty.
We pile out of the van and enter the lobby. It seems as
though all of us are enchanted by our surroundings – but enough of that – I
want to get checked in, go to the bathroom and flop on a bed! So Barb and I
head over to check in.
When we made our trip reservations with Eliza at AAA, it was
easiest for her to put Barb and her three kids on one reservation (all with the
same last name) and for me, the fiancé and the girlfriend on the other
reservation. (two rooms/two reservations). But just because we were booked that
way, didn’t mean that was how we needed to stay in the rooms. And that didn’t
matter anyway, because long ago when we made these reservations, we made it
clear we needed connecting or adjoining or adjacent rooms – so we’d be just
sort of coming and going in our two rooms – like a suite or something!
So we get checked in we’re given directions on how to get to
our rooms but you know how when you’re already tired and cranky you only listen
with half an ear and you’re so anxious to get moving that you barely look at
what you’ve got in your hands and you wish the person would just stop talking
so you could go? Yeah, that was us. So we finally wander off in the direction she
pointed us in, figuring how hard could it be to follow numbers and find our
rooms, right? Ha ha ha – silly us!
We exit the through the door she pointed to and find
ourselves back outside. We’re in a little courtyard that leads out into these
mini brick streets with old fashioned street lamps. The pool area is in the
middle and the buildings of rooms are around it, with rooms on either side of
the building. So some have pool views and some have garden views. It was really
very quaint. But hard to appreciate when you have to pee so c’mon gang, let’s
find our rooms.
Of course, one of us should have been listening to the check
in lady. We had no idea where we were going. We’re trying to be somewhat quiet
because it’s so late but the group has, for some reason, split up while
following room number signs on the buildings and we’re sort of “whisper
yelling” to each other. But suddenly group #1 finds our rooms and we all gather
over there. But something is wrong. The magic bands, which act as keys to your
room, are opening one door but not the room right next to it. We go into the
open room and see the connecting door and try to open that, but it’s locked
from the other side. Now we’re really starting to get frustrated. Then one of
use gets the bright idea to look at the paperwork more carefully. This is when
we realize that the room numbers aren’t even close to each other. One is 5230
and the other is 5923 (or whatever the numbers were, I can’t remember!). Brody
seems to be the only one with any energy left so we send him in search of the
other room.
He comes back in minutes saying he found the room but can’t
get in. He has the wrong magic band. I give him my band and off he goes again.
I think at this point he shouts that he found it. So not only is our room NOT
connected. Not only is our room NOT adjoining or adjacent. It isn’t even in the
same building!!! So now we face a dilemma. Do we traipse back to check in and
get this resolved or do we leave it as is for the night and try to fix the
issue in the morning? Guess which one my bladder chose?
We split up now and get into our rooms. But heyyyy… where’s
our luggage? Barb calls the front desk
to find out what the delay is because you know, we’re part of the magical
express thing and so far, we have experienced very little magic! Well, come to
find out, when you use the Disney Magical Express, your luggage doesn’t get to
your room for a full three hours or so after you do! This is neither magical
nor express to me. It’s after midnight, we’re all exhausted and now we have no
luggage/clothes til three in the morning or so. Needless to say, the
frustration level is high. We’re given the choice to be woken at 3am when the
luggage comes or we can call when we wake up and they will bring it to our
room. We choose to call in the morning and just wing it for now.
Just before we nod off to sleep, Barb announces she plans on
getting to the Magic Kingdom in time for opening ceremonies so we’d better all
be ready to take the bus over there
around 8am. I think I was still laughing as I fell into sleep.
|
Breakfast on the Quick Meal Plan |
When I woke up our luggage had already arrived and everyone
was heading to breakfast. Unfortunately, they were never going to make the park
opening. And I was never going to make it to breakfast. Before we even started
this adventure, Barb and I discussed how I needed to move at my own pace and it
was understood that they should just go as planned and when I was ready, I
would text or call to find out where they were and I’d meet up with them.
Now, I’m not sure if I mentioned this before, and I’m way
too lazy to go back to parts one and two to look, so… When we booked the vacation, we also signed
up for the Disney Quick Meal Plan. The way it is written or described is that
it includes Breakfast, dinner and a snack at quick service locations throughout
the resorts and parks. After looking at what would be available, like slices of
pizza and boxes of popcorn etc., we decided that our group of big eaters may
not be satisfied and buying food at the parks is just crazy expensive! So I
went ahead and ordered a giant box of food from Amazon Pantry to be delivered
to the hotel the day we arrived. When we checked in, I asked about the box but
they said they had no delivery waiting for us. Since it was so late and so much
was going on, I figured I’d deal with it the following day.
So here we are, the following day. I’m finally ready to face
the world. The weather is beautiful. It’s sunny and cool, perfect sunburn
weather for me – ugh! I scoot over to the concierge to talk to them about the
room assignments and pick up the box.
Now, once again I’m stuck with waiting for the first free
concierge and just by making eye contact, I already know the one I DON’T want.
He just looks like he’s gonna be
snarky, you know? And guess who I get??? Yup, Mr. Snark! I wheel up to his area
and he gives me the fakest smile and with an equally fake drawl he wants to
know how he can help me. I already hate him. I explain to him that we booked
adjoining or adjacent rooms but come to find out, we’re in different buildings.
We’re traveling with kids and this is just not acceptable. (Now, at this point,
we’ve pretty much settled in anyway and I think if they had offered us two new
rooms, I would have declined anyway.. but…). Mr. Snark replies with the “It’s
only a request and we cannot accommodate all requests.” This pisses me off, so
I tell him again that we have kids (ok, they’re older kids but they’re still
kids, right?!) in separate buildings and that just isn’t appropriate. Again he
gives me the party line. I was fuming by now. Really, all I needed him to say
was “Gee, I’m sorry that happened. We’re fully booked right now but if
something comes up where we can change the rooms, I will certainly let you
know”. That’s it, that’s all I needed, but he wasn’t giving an inch. I was
livid… and he was still snarky. So now I ask about the box from Amazon. I had
received an email from them saying the box was scheduled for arrival on Monday
and since it was already just about noon on Monday, I figured that it would
have been delivered with the morning mail/deliveries. Snark-boy checks the
computer and tells me there’s no package for us. I don’t trust him but I’m
frustrated so I decide to let it rest and hit the park.
Now this is my first outing into Disney in over 20 years and
I’m all alone. I have to figure out where I catch the bus then find the group
once I get there. At this point my anxiety level is pretty high. But I don’t
know if it’s from being alone and having to do something very much out of my
element (boarding a bus and getting into the park) or if it’s just because I
wanted to slap the shit out of the concierge and I couldn’t!
Finding the little bus station was easy. They had these
covered areas with benches and soda machines and signs for which parks the
busses that stopped there would be going to. Each little station had a
rectangle painted on the ground with a big handicap/wheelchair painted on it. I
was the only person there in a scooter so I parked myself in the rectangle and
waited for the bus that said “Disney World”. After reading several people’s blogs about
Disney, I was a little worried about my wait time because each bus has a
limited amount (turns out to be 2) of wheelchairs/scooters they can take at one
time. But the first bus that pulls up is empty so I’m in luck. But wait – it’s
time to be embarrassed again!
Apparently, there is some unwritten rule that says if you
see this woman (meaning me), please be sure to somehow make sure she feels as
uncomfortable as possible. Once the bus stops, all the people waiting in line
by the door do that little “move forward” thing. You know, almost like a crowd
surge but not quite…? So yeah, they do that but guess what? The bus driver
tells them all to step back and wait because he has to load me into the bus
first. Break out the dagger eyes again!
So he presses the magic button and the bus lowers and a ramp
folds down. Pretty cool, except everyone is watching me, pissed off that they
have to wait to board the bus. I ride the scooter onto the ramp and up into the
bus but now I’m not sure where to put the scooter. I see an area with no seats
but it’s directly in front of me and if I pull straight in, it blocks the
aisle. The bus driver now starts touching the controls of my scooter, trying to
parallel park me. But I don’t know this at the time so I’m not able to help.
Had he just said – I need you to parallel park right here, I could have done it
but instead, he’s moving me back and forth, bumping me into poles and seats,
and really not going anywhere and all I can think of is that the people waiting
to get on are gonna be pissed!
I finally get situated and the other passengers get on, sure
enough, giving me dirty looks. I try smiling at some of them but my charms weren’t
working on them. How dare I delay their trip to the Magical Kingdom where
everyone is happy all the time, right?
Getting into the park was uneventful but I had been told to
go to the “Town Hall” to get some sort of sticker or pass that says I’m
disabled so that I wouldn’t have to navigate the long roped-in lines. But the
front of the Town Hall isn’t handicap accessible and I have to go around to the
side to get in. But the problem is the line for people to be served is through
the building and out the front door, so I really can’t “get in line”. I see
that part of the counter is low, to serve people in wheelchairs and there is a
woman in a scooter being helped, so I get in line behind her. But guess what?
Mr. Snarks brother works here! He looks up and says “Do you mind getting in
line please and you’ll be helped in order”.. Umm.. ok but how do I get in line
if it’s down the stairs? Sometimes I just hate people. So I drive my scooter
over and get in line beside the line going out the door. I inch forward as each
person is helped and soon enough I find myself at the front of the line but
beside other people that were in the long line. The advantage here though, is
that when it’s Mr Snarks brother’s turn to call someone forward, I can defer to
the people in the original line! I end up getting helped by a very nice man at
the other end of the counter. And of course, he tells me there is no such
sticker or pass and I’m good to go. Shaking my head, I head off to Tomorrowland
to meet the group.
I get to them in time for them to decide they are done there
and heading over to their fast pass at the Haunted Mansion.
I’m jealous that I
can’t go through the ride, but to make the best of it, I leave them in line and
head down the road to find out where there are more of those machines that
squish your pennies. Now, whoever said that the first week of December was a
“low crowd” time has obviously never been there during the first week of
December. If this was not crowded I
can’t imagine what crowded looks like. And people get stupid when they see the
scooter. They suddenly don’t know to move to the right or they just stand there
not knowing what to do at all. It makes me want to scream but really I just say
“Excuse me”, “excuse me” 42 times until they move. So I’m going along and I
round the bend and suddenly there is no crowd but there *is* a rope across the
path. I see it and start to turn around but a “cast member” unhooks the rope
for me. I’m slightly puzzled but I move through the rope and guess what? I’m in
the fat lady parade again!
Apparently, it was blocked off for the 2 o’clock parade but
for some reason, he let me go past the rope and now I am driving down the
completely empty main thoroughfare while hundreds, maybe thousands of people
watch me go by. I didn’t know if I should start waving or start crying of
embarrassment. I could hear circus music in my head as I scooted down the road
looking for escape… dun dun dudda da da dun dun da da… I finally found an
opening to a sidewalk and got out of there. I watched most of the parade from a
sidewalk I wasn’t supposed to be blocking but hey, as the star of the
pre-parade, I guess I got a perk. But so did the many tall people that stood in
front of me, not a care in the world for who might be behind them. Have I
mentioned I hate people?
After the parade and the Haunted Mansion, we decide to go
back to the hotel and rest so we can come back tonight for the fireworks. When
we go back, I go to the concierge area to check on my delivery and I see Mr.
Snark is still there. I see him see me, but he doesn’t know that I see him
seeing me. Then I see him turn and go into a back room and I’m thinking – good,
because I don’t want to deal with your snarky ass either! So I go to a nice
lady and ask about my package. She says it’s not here. I tell her I got an
email that says it arrived at 2pm and suddenly, out of nowhere – perhaps Disney
Magic? – Snarkman pops up and says “All deliveries go to a central location
then they are delivered to the resorts from there” It was like he couldn’t wait
to give me that bit of news – the bastard. Ok, fine, it’s only around 4pm, so
they’ll probably have it ready later on… oh, silly me!!
We rest then it’s back to park for fireworks. I stop at the
desk again, but still no package. We get to the Magic Kingdom and apparently
everyone else had the same idea because it was mobbed. Trying to stake out a
spot on Main Street so you could see the castle and the fireworks was crazy.
Our group of seven gave up on trying to stay together so it was just Barb,
Brody and me. We tried to get closer and closer but so did everyone else. We
finally thought we were in a great spot and could see everything pretty well
and just as the little program and fireworks were about to start, some 6’9” guy
decides to put his kid up on his shoulders. Now really, is this necessary? The
kid is now 9 feet in the air and several people, me being one of them, can’t
see because he wants his 5 year old to get the best view in the house. C’mon
mister – if you’re going to do that, stand to the side and she’ll still be able
to see. Besides she’s young and has a lot more chances to come back to Disney
and see this while I may never get a chance to come back before I pop off! But
it was no use, he wasn’t moving and the show starts. All my fireworks pics have
the 9 foot baby in them. I hate people.
After the fireworks, we made the ridiculous mistake of
trying to move forward against the tide. I felt like I was an ocean liner
moving through a sea of little ice burgs. People were banging into me and
walking to within an inch of the scooter before bearing right or left to go
around. I was Moses parting the sea. We may have made it 20 feet forward before
we decided to just stop where we were and wait for the crowd to thin. While
waiting, we must have seen ten different people trip or stumble on the rails
that are on the ground for the trolley. Strollers and wheelchairs were getting
stuck in the grooves. I can’t believe Walt hasn’t been sued yet. Once the crown
dissipates, we learn that the other half of our group has already left the park
and is on the way back to the hotel. Thanks for waiting guys…
The box ended up arriving on Tuesday afternoon. Most of the
items I bought got repacked in our luggage and taken home though. Once we
learned how to use the Quick service meal plan to our advantage, it was plenty
of food. You see, you don’t *have* to have breakfast as one of your meals – it can
be lunch and dinner. So I chose to just get a bagel in the morning, which only
counted as a snack. I refilled my free refillable mug and off I went for the
day. Lunch always included what you ordered, a drink – not your refillable free
one, but another full drink, and a dessert. Then dinner was the same, your
meal, dessert and another drink and now you still had a snack to use. So the
food plan was perfect for us and in fact, when we left, we each had 18 snack
credits left on our account so we went to the gift shop and loaded up on snacks
for the plane right and for home.
We had the three day park hopper pass so we spent the first
day at the Magic Kingdom, the next day at Hollywood Studios, the next day we
went to Disney Springs and shopped til we dropped then had our first/only real
sit down, be
waited on dinner at the Hard Rock Café, and on our last full day
we went to Disney’s Animal Kingdom.
At Hollywood studios, I only experienced one burning, embarrassing
situation. We had a fast pass for a ride that indicated you had to get off your
scooter and onto the ride, but I must have been looking at the wrong thing
because I thought it was some type of movie or “show”. So Brody and I wait in
the longest fast pass line of the trip, with all the other mobility impaired
people – a special place for us (hearing old lady/Lawrence Welk music). When we
finally get inside, I see that I will have to get off the scooter and into this
big contraption. The walk isn’t far, the cars look pretty big, Brody is tall
and lean and I have my cane, so I think I’ll give it a try. WHY? Why do I do
this to myself??
When it’s my turn, I get off the scooter, hobble over to the
car and then realize that my leg will not fit in the opening to get *into* the
car. I try twice and it’s no use. I turn around to go back to my scooter and
see all the people seeing me. Once again, I’m so embarrassed. Brody goes on the
ride alone and I wait by the exit. And just to raise the embarrassment level a
little higher, two of the ride operators come over to me and ask if I want to
try again and they can help me (I say no thanks) and then the supervisor comes
over to talk to me and apologize and then he gets *his* supervisor to come over
and I want to scream – LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! – but this is Disney and you
can’t do that! But the manager was nice and gave me two more fast passes to be
used at any Hollywood Studios ride, which actually did me no good since we were
now done at that park, it was closing and we weren’t scheduled to come back. (I
ended up giving them to a mom and her son on the morning that we left).
While at Disney Springs, I discovered the world of Disney
Pin
collecting. I swear, I need a keeper. People can’t be showing me these
types of things. I’m just too susceptible. I purchased 12 pins at the parks but
thanks to a trade site and eBay, I now own about 70. It’s a sickness I blame my
mother for – she collected a lot of junk too!
Dinner at the Hard Rock was fun and I got my drink on. I
rarely drink but got daring and told the bartender to make me something sweet
where I couldn’t taste the alcohol. I don’t know what it was called but it was
good. I drank most of it and although I certainly wasn’t loopy after that, I
know I was a bit louder and sillier.
Animal Kingdom was ok, but I didn’t get to see many animals
because I wasn’t able to go on the safari ride. And by this time, after 4 days
in constant company of each other and for the rest of my tribe – walking a
million miles so far – we were getting tired and cranky. We were all looking
forward to our fast pass to see the Lion King show though. We lined up in the
handicap section and soon the doors were open. This was the only time I
experienced the actual cast members being slightly rude. They were rushing
people and directing people where to sit but not doing it nicely. And in this
setting, they had the people in scooters and wheelchairs in the front on the
floor while their parties were to sit on bleachers directly behind them. But by
the time everyone followed the directions of the screaming people - “PLEASE
MOVE DOWN AS MUCH AS YOU CAN”, your friends and family were 20 feet away behind
you!
But everyone gets settled and then they come out to warm up the
crowd. They have us sing and holler and then the lights dim and the show
starts. Out comes one float with dancers and singing and drums. I take a few
pics and so far, I’m
enjoying the show. As the first float exits and the next
one is due to come out, the house lights come on and the announcer says
something like “Ladies and Gentlemen, GET OUT!” Ok, maybe not, but that’s what
I heard! Suddenly, we’re all being herded like cattle out the doors we just
came in. They announce “technical difficulties” or some such bullshit but I’m
pretty sure a monkey got loose and threw poop in a dancer’s face or something
equally ridiculous. They said we could get back in line outside and see if they
would be able to do another show in 2 hours. Umm, no thanks, I’m not standing
in line for two hours to *maybe* see a show. At this point, stick a fork in us,
we were D U N. Back to Port Orleans French Quarter for dinner and rest and to
start packing.
Overall, despite the many times I found myself the center of
unwanted attention, the star of the show, so to speak, I had a good time.
There’s a lot I didn’t get to do and a lot I learned about once we got home
that I want to do, so we’re planning another trip but this time, without the
“kids” – just us. Cuz really, Disney is serious business and no place for kids!
But wait! One more story!
Knowing what I knew, I called the Magical Express hotline
the night before we were leaving to make sure we were all set with the “special
van” for me to use. The woman I spoke with must have been related to that woman
who took care of us at the airport. She was clueless. Eventually, she
transferred me to someone who also knew nothing about what I was talking about.
She transferred me to the next clueless person but then finally I got to
someone who knew what I was talking about and told me I was all set.
Wanna play the guessing game? Who can guess what happens
next?
The Magical Express is supposed to pick us up at 4pm for our
7pm flight. So out we go, dragging our luggage and being a generally crabby
motley crew. Eventually the giant Magical Express bus pulls up and the driver
gets out and talks to the guy that I guess is in charge of getting people on
the right bus or something. They start looking over my way and I’m no dummy. It
doesn’t take me long to figure out their talking about me! Lol! Sure enough,
the driver comes over and tells me to wait there and he goes back to the bus
and lowers the small ramp into the bus.
Now, I’ve already been through this 5 days ago. I KNOW I won’t
fit on the ramp on the scooter and up into the bus. Just looking at the width
of the door opening, I know I won’t fit. I explain to “the guy” that I am supposed to
have a special van for my party that will fit me on my scooter. Guess who has
no idea what I am talking about? I tell the bus driver the same thing and all I
get back is a blank stare. They each start making phone calls but no one has
any idea what I am talking about. Meanwhile, the clock tick tick ticks for
everyone waiting to get on the bus. Yay! Yet another chance to piss people off!
Not long after this, but still before people have boarded
the bus, a small SUV type vehicle pulls up to us but right away, both the driver
and I know he can’t accommodate me. He
gets out, talks to the other two, then drives off. I’m told another van is
coming. Once again, I am angry and frustrated. I called ahead of time to set
this up. I advocated for myself and yet, nothing goes they way it’s supposed
to.
Another mini-van /SUV pulls up but this time, it’s a car
with a secret – you know, like the sofas with a secret? It’s a transformer van!
He opens the back door and a ramp unfolds and I am able to ride right into the
back area of the van! Yay! The bad part? Only two others can come with me. The
others could have taken the Magical Express bus but it left already. So they
have to call yet another mini-van/SUV for the other 4 of us.
Barb, Brody and I head off to the airport with the other van
trailing after us. We hit some traffic but make it to the airport in plenty of
time. But wait, what’s this? Yet ANOTHER issue? The driver of the other van is
insisting that the kids pay $75 for the ride. By the time I go over there to
release my fury though, Brian has already paid the guy with a credit card and
the transaction can’t be cancelled. Again, the Magical Express Experience was
not so Magical. But I still can’t wait
to go back! After all, I need more pins!